Tree-Hugger Diaries

23rd Of January
Bah, nothing to report, I've just been bored to death because of a detention I got for blowing up a potion 'accidently' again. It's boring in Snape's office... and lonely without Andrew. I want him, closer to me, to be with me at all times, guide me in the right direction...
Maybe something is wrong with me? I never been so weird this way in my life.
Poem time:
This is me for forever
One of the lost ones
The one with a strange name
With an honest heart
Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
All I wish is to dream again
My loving heart
Lost in the dark
For hope I'd give my everything
My flower
Withered between
The pages two and three
The once and forever bloom gone with my sins
Walk the dark path
Sleep with angels
Call the past for help
Touch me with your love
And reveal to me my true name

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

24th Of January
I've just worked it out.
Andrew said I was just a friend, a brother.
It's not me he wants.
I'm just his... friend. He's still looking. And I don't think he knows what he's doing to me. He just thinks that he can get someone, and see whether they're worth it or not. I don't think he'll know when he's found someone close to him, someone who can actually like him.
I feel sorry for him in a way, but what haunts me, is that, I'm never going to be able to tell him. Tell him about how I feel. And, now I'm sad.

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

25th Of January
Oh dear oh dear. I'm sooo bad. I was talking with Sam about her love life again, but promised I wouldn't tell anyone! So I'm not writing this down in here either.
What makes me really bad, is that I listened in on Sam and Connor. When they were talking. Privately.
I only heard them say something about liking eachother, and Sam wants the old Connor back, or something.
But, it seems like Sam's not breaking up with Connor.
And I feel bad about that. Because, I want them to break up.
I know, it's just, I know they aren't really a couple. They don't really love eachother. It's quite sad...

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

29 Of January

This is bad, I feel totally lost, and I keep asking myself, if this is the life I was always supposed to live.
Andrew gave me money, and I mean lots of money. He is rich. We went to Egypt again. Back to the place he took me to where I realized that I really liked him.
Tom Hardwood, an old friend of mine, has met up with me a couple of times. He’s changed a lot since I used to know him. He had turned to drink and self-harm, I say had, because he’s given it up, due to persuasion from his friend.
He called me and Andrew disgusting. Well excuse me! And he started throwing up too. What an idiot. I can’t believe he used to be my friend.
I guess now, I’m torn between Tom and Andrew. Whether I should be friends with Tom, or be with Andrew. And I know that I prefer Andrew. I want Andrew, he can give me everything, and I feel like I’m bathing in happiness when we go somewhere. I could never leave him.
I feel really guilty, Andrew has given me a lot of presents, yet I can give him nothing. I feel really, really guilty. It’s like a heavy burden, weighing down on my shoulders. The only thing I can give him is flowers, and myself. I guess being a hippy has its disadvantages. I mean, it’d be cool to have my own house elf and everything, but I guess I’d end up like Andrew, feeling lost because I would be different to other rich people. I’d be unwanted too.
I once heard my Dad say, “The money of a rich man makes him empty inside, the nothing of a poor man makes him wealthy inside.” Something like that anyway.
Uh, I’d better go and do something useful, I can’t spend all day writing in this diary all say.
So yeah, see you tomorrow diary. Wow, it’s quite fun to write like it’s alive, but then I might be hurting it… oh well.

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

30th of January
Poor Rhea, she's empty inside. I bet Chase is too. Such a shame, I was sure both of them had stabilised too.
Okay, I'm just going to cut through my day really quickly:
I had a talk with Rhea, gave her a 4-leaved clover, told her some sayings like:
'The body is gone, but the spirit shalt always remain.' and that I like her smiling, not crying.
Amber Raind is annoyed with me because I thought that she was going out with Serin Tyln. So yeah... oh, and I met Drathil Vortec, he's strange, but humorous, in a way. He calls himself 'The squirrel king' and said I should bow down before him or something. He's nice as well, for a reason that I can't reveal. So yeah.
I was also thinking about Tom Hardwood, yeah he's a muggle-born, but that didn't stop me being friends with him.
I remember the day we met up, my parents had tried to get me and my brother into a muggle-school. We went to a place called 'Eve's ham' weird huh? I didn't know who Eve was, and I didn't know why she had ham. But you're supposed to put them together so it says, 'Evesham.'
Anyway, I remember getting into a fight with some kid in there, and Tom stood up for me. It was really cool, because I never had anyone stand up for me apart from my brother, but he was pretending to be sick, saying the muggle smells were getting to him.
Sadly, my parents had to move away from England in the following month because of finacial problems. Tom and I kept in touch by mail though, and it wasn't by owl! You had to put a letter in this red thing, and then it got apperated by the red thing to the person you want to send it too! I didn't know muggles were so advanced!
So yeah, we lost touch last year for some odd reason... and when he came to hogwarts, I was suprised! I wouldn't have thought someone like Tom would be a wizard. Strange isn't it? Although, as I've been saying, Tom's changed, and I mean REALLY changed. But now he's got better somehow, and he doesn't drink or anything. I also heard he's going out with this nice girl called Tessa Tage. Quite good for him, I think.
Anyway, I just got a letter from my parents about having to go back to Ireland for something... which means, that I'll have to leave in about a week, meaning I'm missing Valentines Day. Quite sad really. Nevermind...

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

1st Of January
Hmmm, Amber. Fiesty she is. Also, I think she likes me. Which is a bit of a total downfall. She knows about me and Andrew.
There was a big fight down at the Gardens, by the Lake. Tom Hardwood, that idiot, stabbed a guy called Jason Void. I don't really know what happened, but it eventually turned into a big fight. Amber tried to stop Tom from getting hurt, and she did a good job, she told me to say it was her instead of Tom. That was kinda difficult because I didn't want Amber to get hurt. I'm fed up of people being hurt by other people, my friends hurting each other. I just want everyone to get along peacefully.
I can't believe where Andrew took me. He took me to... Pinboria. I had to hold his hand too, I was that frightened, and I know that it will probably never happen again, and there aren't many Dementors at Pinboria, but... I'm not sure. Everytime I go there, I feel like crying, screaming, running away. I just don't want it to happen again. I know I could never go to Shade's Cove, ever again in my whole life. I just never want to remind myself of what terrible things happened there.
When I was with Andrew, I couldn't let go of him, I didn't want to be alone. Also, I was worrying like crazy, I just don't want him to have the same fate as Will. I don't want to lose anymore people. I don't want them to leave me... loads of people have been lost already, Ray Tyln, Dirth Silvermoon... I could go on, but... that seems enough to remember. I just hope nothing more happens, nothing bad that will make people die. Death is a terrible thing, but, I shall always remember those who have been taken away.

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

18th of Feburary
Ireland, 1 week, me and Tom = No comment.
No bonding.
No peaceful birthday/rememberence.
No woeful drinking.
No time for a chat to catch up with family members.
Just me, and Tom, first in a jail cell, then in a hospital.
I have had ENOUGH.

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

18th of Feburary (Again)
Wow, I was pretty steamed after Tom completely ruined my week!
First we got to go to Ireland, on Saturday. Tom never stopped drinking.
Then, I went to show Tom around the forest glade. That didn't work out well, neither did Will's birthday party, where we went into his room. Tom went wild. And when we went to meet the family, and when we went to get a drink. I am really annoyed at him.
Anyway, Brennan sells good 'stuff'. I asked him for a fix, and he gave me some, and was it good? Hell yeah!
I know you shouldn't take stuff like this, but... it was good! I mean, better than Andrew's stuff! Andrew's were pills, but Brennan's... you smoke it! and it is gooood! He gave me a few tips on where to smoke it and stuff.
Ever since I came back from Ireland, I've been... feeling... strange... filled with anger, and other emotions I never realised I had.
I'm so angry at Tom, yet, I feel I can do other things, that I never would have dreamed about.
I mean, I've smoked, I've fricken' smoked!
You know what? I'm such a rebel!
I'm bad.

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

22nd of Feburary
... WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME????
I found some records of people I had wrote down, titled: St. Mungo's Hospital Patient records. They were in my hand writing. They were about people such as: 'Brennan Brask', 'John Dranco' etc. I just don't understand!
I found a bunch of needles and pills in my drawers, and syringes, and other strange stuff. All labeled, 'Property of St. Mungo's Hospital.' Just what exactly happened? Everything was in my handwriting.
It's like... I'm a nurse or something. But... I don't remember.
I found John Dranco's records, and it said stuff like, 'Patient clearly manipulated from Charm abuse. Oblivate charm. Cause: Patient forgets previous events, usually wears off, but sometimes can cause serious cases of Amnesia. Patient needs serious sedative to allow blood sample to be taken. Restraining may be required for future refrences.'
... I really don't get what happened. Did I... do something to John?
I really, really, really, hope not. John was a really nice guy, how can I explain to him about all this?

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

25th Of Feburary

Okay, I clear one mess up, and another mess spills.
Andrew, that cheating idiot! He thinks he can go bonking off with his new 'bed-pal' behind my back, and pretend nothing ever happened!
I guess I found this out by accident. Marek Pein, I got caught up in his web, and he told me about him and Andrew. I don't believe it. I really don't...

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

28th of February

I feel upset and, lost. I made good friends with a girl called Myth. She’s quite nice, although, it all came tumbling down.
What happened? Andrew talked to her. That’s what happened. He called her a… mud-blood. I hate that word. You may as well shout at her “Impure scum!” I feel sorry for her.
She’s avoiding me now; she thinks I’m just like him. I know Andrew isn’t someone known for popularity, but he doesn’t have to go around making more enemies.
Serin Tyln won’t talk to me either. He isn’t the most talkative person around, but he got off quick when he saw me.
The only person who’s really talking to me is Roi. He never used to talk to me much, but now he’s nicer.
What’s happened?
I had to talk with Andrew, and I wasn’t in the best of moods either. I explained what was happening, and like he always does, he tried to reassure me.
He also asked what had happened to me, and he said:
“It’s like I don’t know you anymore.”
And the sad thing about that statement was, that it’s true.
I don’t know what has happened to me myself. But… I need someone to be there for me.
Also, I found Thomas Hardwood’s diary today. I gave it to Tessa, like it said. Poor Tessa, a young girl losing a loved one, must be hard.
Samantha Hathaway isn’t talking to me lately. I hope she isn’t doing anything stupid… I really hope so.
So, everyone is avoiding me. Why? I have no idea.
Andrew acted today like he really hates Marek Pein, but for some reason, Marek said it to me as if Andrew enjoyed every moment.
I don’t know what to think right now. I need to work out what’s happening. And I need to write essays at the same time…
Which reminds me, I couldn’t sleep the other night, saw I tried to write an essay, but it resulted in me drawing a picture of Professor McGonagall dancing naked with pixies, not a pretty sight. Roi used a clever charm on it, so it looks like a really good essay, something Professor McGonagall would hang up, or put on the boards. But cleverly, it will change back into my ‘labelled diagram’ of her in a few hours. I got some random kid to hand it in for me.
Anyway, I’m pretty tired; I haven’t been able to sleep… I’d better get some right now.

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

4th of March

I don't know what to think, I've tried thinking things through loads of times, but I just don't know what to decide.
I'll start from the top:
Andrew and I had a duel. I tried my hardest, as I never can win the stupid duels... and, maybe Andrew went easy on me, but, I hurt him bad. I didn't mean to do that much, I'd researched duels in the library loads of times, my head is filled with countless spells to use, although, I never realized they'd do this to him.
His clothes were ripped, his skin burnt, and I didn’t notice how much it’d hurt him. And then I stopped. That was when he almost killed me. The last thing I saw of him before I blacked out was his face, and the hate, and happiness for my suffering in his eyes.
I had a ‘dent’ in my chest, for a couple of days, due to one of his spells. He told me he was sorry, the next day. I forgave him, and continued as if nothing had happened.
The next day, Andrew took me into the Forbidden Forest, to some ruins. He then conjured up a badger. It was adorable, with its little cute face, smiling up at me. Then Andrew asked me to… kill it. I couldn’t believe it, I really couldn’t. In the end… I did. I cried my eyes out; I couldn’t even believe that I’d just killed an innocent little animal.
Andrew said something, which I can’t remember, probably for the good, and I ran off, crying. He kept trying to tell me about enjoying the power I had experienced, about how good it was, and how strong I could become. I didn’t believe him, and he apparated me to some house.
The doors were locked, and I couldn’t get out. I just broke down, shouting at him. He kept talking about how good hate feels, I just old him to shut up; I wasn’t putting up with it. He eventually let me out. I just ignored him; I didn’t know what to say.
I don’t know what I should do. I hate him but… I… I give up.

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

11th of March

I keep forgetting to write in here... I only remember when things are really bad.
I shall explain:
I thought everything was going to be alright, I patched up things with Andrew, made friends with some more people, but, no. Everything is lost again.
It's as if someone is deliberately trying to make my life harder.
I found a book, in some weird crypt. I tried to face up to my fears, and go to Pinboria. It was curfew, and it was pretty freaky.
I managed to do it, but there was something in the mist, so I freaked out, and ran.
The only place for cover, was a crypt. I Alohomara'd the door, ran in, and Colloportus'd it. I decided to explore the crypts, no harm in that, is there?
That's what I thought, anyway.
Down the steps, was a long table, with chairs neatly placed around it, dust covered them, they hadn't been touched in years. That's when I saw it.
A black book, was placed on the table, it didn't have any dust, cobwebs, or anything on it. Like it'd just been put there, specially for me.
It looked weird, with runes, and scratched in symbols. I sat on one of the chairs, and opened the book.
On the front page, it said something about it being 'Course 3'.
Then, I thought, it was something to improve my magic.
I began to practice the spells, bringing scrolls and parchments, and I focused on one spell, called. 'Words of P-'
I didn't know what it said, so I practiced, and practiced, and I became good at it.
I became friends with Serin, and I showed him the book, he said it was dark magic. I said that it couldn't be dark magic, or else the Ministry would've thrown me in Azkaban.
I kept going back to the book, it felt strange to read, and I couldn't put it down.
Andrew found it, and threw it in the fire.
He took me to the Inferi crypts, so, I decided to show him the power that I had from reading this book. When I used the spell, something strange happened, the Inferi's eyes changed color, and then everything went weird; I fell on the floor, and couldn't get back up, and the Inferi just stood around me, staring. Andrew killed them all, then.
I felt all strange, when I could get back up, and I laughed.
Inferi listened to me! Andrew was right about power-
There I go again. It was weird.
Andrew went maniac, and hit me unconscious. He was angry. And I completely screwed everything up, haven't I?

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

18th of March

I’ve left Andrew. I don’t know what to think of him now. I really don’t. Myth lead me up to the Astronomy Tower, and we found him with this other guy.
I’m leaving all that in the past. I don’t want to know about him now. Because I’m fed up. And Andrew had his last chance long ago.
So, here I am. By myself. The face that I was once so happy to see, I no longer see at all. It would cause me pain and grief if I did.
So, I’ve became good friends with Shaant Cys'varion. He’s quite nice. He’s a bit strange, for standing in the middle of the Entrance Hall all day. But I guess I’m strange for going into CE all the time.
Amber Raind is taking me to… London? I think. Too see a concert. It sounds really good, with all the different bands! I never heard of some, but I’m willing to listen to them! I can’t wait! It’s going to be sooo much fun! Amber is strange, because I know her, and we’re friends, but sometimes she won’t tell me things. I mean, I’m not forcing her too, but… you’d expect a friend to tell you these things, y’know.
I’ve become really good friends with Serin Tyln. I’ve been letting him into the Ravenclaw Common room in disguise. Serin is called Serry Tinns, or Mister Tinns when he’s a Ravenclaw. He pretends to be a farmer, and his farmer accent is just hilarious!
I’ve started eating Bertie Botts in the afternoon, and I get a bit hyper… I’ve been attempting to do stunts in the Entrance Hall, use Tarantellgra on myself to do outrageous dancing, and put on plays with everyone. The last one was about being in a car, and hitting someone on a bike, and that person turned into a zombie, and in the end everyone else turned into a zombie. At the very end, we all died. It was hilarious! I guess I never realised how much fun there is to be had with everyone else!
I saw Zane Von Meckmenmask yesterday. I know what he’s hiding, well, I think I do. He’s good at acting and stuff, but I’m sooo sure I know what he is hiding! I wish he’d be serious with me and confirm my suspicions. Although, to him, I’m just another face. He’s a nice guy though. Well, I’d better stop writing in here; I’ve got another Essay to do… I just don’t have the right attention span or something to be doing all these Essays… Oh well.

Nathaniel Rhomas

Tree-Hugger Diaries

23rd of March
Alot has been happening with Brennan, Sierra, and John's arrest.
Brennan was released first, and then the other two got put in Azkaban.
Sierra then got moved back to the Ministry.
I put up some posters for a protest, to help them all, including Durious Black, who got sent there a while back.
This morning, I found John, in the Entrance Hall. He was messing with me at first, and then said that Dumbledore allowed him to be sent back. I didn't know he was messing with me, so I got a bit... annoyed with him.
He then went on to say that he wasn't going to be around for long... which... got me down. I really hoped he'd be here for good.
He then said... that he could be given The Kiss.
I really hope he was joking, The Kiss isn't something to be joked about... but... I don't want to loose someone else. I really don't.
Hang in there everyone. Sierra, Durious, and John. I'm going to save you all.

Nathaniel Rhomas