very good. I liked
You are very talented writer!
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| Author: | ShacadiaShay [ Wed Mar 16, 2011 6:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | FanFic |
so i'm writing a fanfiction story at the moment and i thought i'd share it with you. it's my first fanfiction story. Broken Wings, Beautiful Things by GothicKitten91 Summery: Hermione had shared with Severus her heart, now we see how difficult it is to move on.. this is her life after the war as she finally pushes past the pain of her loss and moves on. Teaching at Hogwarts as the new Potions Mistress, will she ever be whole? http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6827699/1/b ... _bthings_b |
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| Author: | Daughter of Dark [ Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
very good. I liked You are very talented writer! |
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| Author: | ShacadiaShay [ Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
thanks, any suggestions? |
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| Author: | Nikblade [ Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
You should totally have a scene from Harry's point of view so the readers can understand what he's going through: His mom's deceased, 38-year old stalker had been sleeping with and impregnated his best friend's 16 or 17-year old girlfriend (even if he'd knocked her up during the last week of his life she wouldn't have turned 18 for another four and a half months). Distraught, he loses his position as auror for some unknown offense (likely drinking considering everything else that's happened). His only recourse is to teach a cursed class at a high school. That the once-legendary Boy Who Lived can't even manage to get the Head of House position over a girl who was knocked up by a professor while attending that very school nearly 12 years ago is only salt in the wound. |
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| Author: | Kristina [ Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
Nikblade wrote: his best friend's 16 or 17-year old girlfriend (even if he'd knocked her up during the last week of his life she wouldn't have turned 18 for another four and a half months). During Hermione's 6th year she would have been 17 as her birthday was in September, so during the final battle she was 18 years old and only a couple months from turning 19. Great start Shay 
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| Author: | Nikblade [ Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
Kristina wrote: Nikblade wrote: his best friend's 16 or 17-year old girlfriend (even if he'd knocked her up during the last week of his life she wouldn't have turned 18 for another four and a half months). During Hermione's 6th year she would have been 17 as her birthday was in September, so during the final battle she was 18 years old and only a couple months from turning 19. You're correct. I guess it all depends on when Snape got with Granger, then. Maybe while Harry and Ron were pulling the sword from the water? Which would mean Snape had been using Lily's patronus as a diversion to get some alone time with his beloved. Ironic, considering what the locket said to Ron that night. This took place in December of '98, so she would have been 18. |
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| Author: | ShacadiaShay [ Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
thats the thing with fanfiction. you can change things you want to change. due to all her use of the time turner Hermione was even older then she should have been. its complicated. use your imagination. |
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| Author: | MoreThanThree [ Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
ShacadiaShay wrote: thats the thing with fanfiction. you can change things you want to change. Is it wrong that I imagined the cast replaced by a jolly band of penguins? |
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| Author: | ShacadiaShay [ Thu Mar 17, 2011 7:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
um... if thats how you really wish to see them i guess its ok |
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| Author: | Skullcleaver [ Fri Mar 18, 2011 2:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
Kingsean12 wrote: Is it wrong that I imagined the cast replaced by a jolly band of penguins? +1 XD |
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| Author: | Daughter of Dark [ Fri Mar 18, 2011 2:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
Kingsean12 wrote: Is it wrong that I imagined the cast replaced by a jolly band of penguins? That's just scary! |
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| Author: | West [ Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
I got like a chapter or so in and quit. Sorry, no offense meant, but the story sorta repulses me and it is too confusing especially since its hard to get a hold of who the past characters are now. For instance, Harry calling her 'Mione. Them calling the Weasley's the "tribe" I just don't get it. I agree fanfictions can be anything you want but there is a point where it goes from a different version of the story to 'What the hell is this?' Once again, Constructive Criticism, not meant to offend. |
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| Author: | Nikblade [ Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
West wrote: I got like a chapter or so in and quit. Sorry, no offense meant, but the story sorta repulses me and it is too confusing especially since its hard to get a hold of who the past characters are now. For instance, Harry calling her 'Mione. Them calling the Weasley's the "tribe" I just don't get it. I agree fanfictions can be anything you want but there is a point where it goes from a different version of the story to 'What the hell is this?' Once again, Constructive Criticism, not meant to offend. Don't read much fanfiction, do you? |
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| Author: | ShacadiaShay [ Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
Nikblade wrote: West wrote: I got like a chapter or so in and quit. Sorry, no offense meant, but the story sorta repulses me and it is too confusing especially since its hard to get a hold of who the past characters are now. For instance, Harry calling her 'Mione. Them calling the Weasley's the "tribe" I just don't get it. I agree fanfictions can be anything you want but there is a point where it goes from a different version of the story to 'What the hell is this?' Once again, Constructive Criticism, not meant to offend. Don't read much fanfiction, do you? I agree lol. In answer to the tribe part. tribe means large group and its the only thing i could thing of to explain just how large the family is. Yes to begin with its hard to see who the characters are and all but, when you start reading a book you don't fully know the characters till the end. anyways, thank you for your honesty i don't get a lot of constructive criticism. its either a flame or a useless (but sweet comment) like 'i like this story.' i mean yeah that's nice but what do you like about it? |
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| Author: | Yendys [ Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: FanFic |
Nikblade wrote: West wrote: I got like a chapter or so in and quit. Sorry, no offense meant, but the story sorta repulses me and it is too confusing especially since its hard to get a hold of who the past characters are now. For instance, Harry calling her 'Mione. Them calling the Weasley's the "tribe" I just don't get it. I agree fanfictions can be anything you want but there is a point where it goes from a different version of the story to 'What the hell is this?' Once again, Constructive Criticism, not meant to offend. Don't read much fanfiction, do you? This is pretty much why I almost never read fanfiction. Though, I will admit to being quite impressed with Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, at least as far as I got into it(50~ chapters). |
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